When did God forgive your sin?

I was eighteen. I began to go to church when I was very young. I used to cry out all the time trying to repent and confess my sin. As I was attending a technology school in Seoul, I got in trouble and had to return to my hometown without a diploma. I was very embarrassed.

At the same time, I struggled to find the way to wash away my sin. Everyday, early in the morning, I asked for God’s pardon for my sin, but nothing happened. One day, I visited a pastor and asked, “I am a wicked man. What should I do to wash my sin and have faith?”

The pastor replied, “Pastor Park, you are young, that’s why. I sent my two daughters to another city for their study, and I have no idea what they are doing there. From now on, try harder to overcome any temptations by faith. You will eventually be blessed.”

Finally, I decided not to go to church, thinking that I was not among the chosen people, and that Jesus and I had nothing in common. However, when the church bell rang on Sundays, I could not help but attend the service. For about one year my heart was troubled.

One morning in 1962, I went to church as usual and cried out, “Lord, I am a sinner. Please forgive me.” After I finished praying, I began to think that my sin had already been forgiven. I was at peace.

Right after that, I was driven to read the Bible, and I actually liked it. So many times I tried to read the Bible, but I could not. The Scriptures sounded new and different to me. “Jesus washed my sin away. How wonderful!” My heart was changed. (He was born again at this precise moment.)

[Here he received a phone call.]

A month later, I wanted to give something to God, in appreciation of what God had given to me. First, I thought about money, but parents in the country did not give pocket money to their kids so I had no money. Before I was saved, my friends and I would steal bags of rice from my father and sell them for pocket money.

Could you not steal some money to offer God?

I didn’t want to give that kind of money to God. One day, I knelt down to pray at the church. “Lord, thank you so much, but I don’t have anything to offer you. The only thing that I have is my body, but what can you use me for? I know I am useless, but if you don’t mind, I want to offer myself.” (this is God giving him the spirit of obedience in Ezekiel 36:27)

At that time, I had never imagined that I could be a pastor. I just wanted to spend my life helping children and doing chores at the church. In the country, there were many houses that had only female residents. I could be very happy helping them to maintain their houses by doing chores such as building their fences.

About a month later, by God’s grace, I had the opportunity to go to missionary school. There were some born-again missionaries among the foreign missionaries. They realized that most of Korean churches were only formality. “What a disaster. Let’s start a school to raise born-again servants of God.” The missionary school started with seven or eight students, and I was one of them.

Howard Pittman was a man of God who preached on Sunday, handed out tracts about Jesus, witnessed to many and also adopted more than 20 kids.  God barred this man from entering heaven.  Howard Pittman explains why, in his own words, in fifteen minutes.